Happy Tuesday! Boy, that weekend was rough, huh? I’d like a weekend to recover from my weekend please. In other news, in light of questions I always get asked, I thought I’d open up a little bit about my relationship, since our wedding (GASP) is about 2 months away. *cue Kim K crying gif*
I have been engaged for one year and almost exactly 2 months! SHIT–it has literally flown by. From the second I got engaged, weird wedding sites and blogs bombarding me with wedding ‘advice’ started flooding my feeds, thanks Facebook. In the midst of all of the “this will be the best day of your life” mumbo jumbo, I realized that this crap really didn’t resonate with me. Of course, that didn’t indicate at all that I didn’t want to get married or that I didn’t love the shit out of my fiance–we’re just cut from a different & more private cloth. And that is something that I LOVE. Of course, I’m not shaming the people who share every detail of their relationships on social media (hey, you do you), I’m just telling y’all what we’re about and what works for us.
So, for all the brides-to-be who don’t exactly know what their wedding colors will be to a T and cringe at the thought of a wedding website, here’s what I’ve learned:
1. There’s a reason they say to take things slow
I cannot tell you how quickly I was bombarded with questions like: “Who will your dress designer be? Venue? Catering? What’s your table scape like?!”
Literally days after the damn ring was put on my finger–while some people are prepared for this, I was NOT. While I first got worried and wondered, “In order to be an engaged person, should I know these things?” the truth is that there is no truth. It all depends on you and what makes you feel comfortable. For us, it was taking things slowly, step-by-step. There’s no reason (in my opinion of course) to feel unprepared if you don’t have your whole wedding mapped out right after he puts a ring on it (and even a few months after that point if you’re like me). And to be quite transparent, I’ve never been the girl who’s dreamt of her wedding day. It was a special moment that unexpectedly happened and now that we’re so close to the big day, we’ve slowly been putting all the pieces together. So, no matter what anyone says, agree on a timeframe with your partner–don’t let others make you feel inferior or unprepared–it is YOUR wedding after all.
2. Communicate, communicate!
I’m gonna say it–one of the best things I’ve done thus far is include my fiance in EVERYTHING–except the dress of course, cause DUH. Between our moms and us two, there’s constantly been dialogue happening that keeps everyone in the loop. While Wayo has absolutely no interest in which greenery I’ve chosen, we communicate openly which leaves little room for us to be angry with each other about wedding drama later on. Also, it was very important for me not to let our wedding take on a life of it’s own where it becomes bigger than the both of us. We’ve agreed on something intimate and semi-not so big (Mexican problems) and have put our metaphorical foot down during the process to ensure that our day is still about us and less about what the guests are being served or who’s having too much tequila shots.
3. Enjoy the little things
The greatest piece of advice I’ve received thus far has to be this: enjoy being engaged! For some people (again, not discriminating), being engaged is like a literal race to the altar. Seriously though, what’s the rush? Being engaged is an exciting and special part of being in a relationship–more than anything I’ve learned that it’s something that should be savored. This is where you get to really figure each other out. Whatever that means haha. For me, it’s been putting up with the fact that my fiance likes to wear a different set of pajamas every night because he misplaces the other pair. For him, it’s been learning new sides of me and us learning to work together to actually solve real problems (bills, UGH). If anything, I’ve grown to love and appreciate Wayo even more during the last year. Nothing says ‘he’s the one’ more than seeing him bathe your dog bare-chested LOL.
4. Let the small things go
This is something that’s been a little bit harder for me, but I’m slowly learning how unimportant some things are. And I guess it’s really part of being on the road to marriage. There have been times when (& in part thanks to my wonderful friend, anxiety) it feels like my world is literally crashing down around me. No matter how stressed you may find yourself at times, it’s important to be able to step back and see things for how they truly are–in my case, the problems I saw were really small and easily fixed. When you have a million things going on + a wedding, it’s easy to go into panic mode. I have him to thank for sticking by my side and helping me realize that there are more important things going on around me & that this thing we’ve got going on is for the long haul.
5. Don’t let yourself fall into the ‘basic’ bride category (unless you want to)
I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve been asked, “THAT’S WHAT YOU WANT? ARE YOU SURE? YOU’RE GONNA WEAR THAT WITH YOUR DRESS? FOR REAL? WHY DON’T YOU WANT TO DO THIS, ETC.?
And the questions go on and on from there. I feel like this relates to my first point, but seriously, when it comes to your wedding vision/aesthetic, stand your ground and stay true to who you are. No matter what your mom says (trust me, I struggled a lot with this one). Whether you want to wear a pair of combat boots on your big day or show off all your tats, by all means, DO IT. At least for me, there’s nothing I can imagine worse than waltzing into a wedding that doesn’t represent who my fiance and I are as people. I mean, what would my wedding be without Shipley’s Donuts?!
You might feel hurt at times (been there), but it’s so crucial for you to be who you are on this day–for me, that’s meant rejecting other people’s ideas constantly as well as many of the traditional Mexican wedding rituals. The way I see it, we only get so many trips around the sun, so it’s important to make sure that yours mean something.
Whether you’re engaged or waiting for that bf of yours to pop the question, I hope these tips help you! I know that my experience is probably unlike most bride’s (I jokingly call myself the anti-bride), but it’s just important to know that you don’t have to fit into the perfectly sequined mold so many wedding sites say you should . After all, what would be the fun in that?
Wearing Reformation Jeans & old top from Zara